"Balcony Scene"

Author - Pennyforum | Category - Humour | Main Story | Rating - PG-13
Trip * Malcolm Fanfic Home

Author: Pennyforum

Title: Balcony Scene

Rating: PG-13

Category: Humour

Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything. I own nothing, and I'm not getting paid for this.

Comment: I was in a bit of a silly mood when I wrote this and it seems to have rubbed off on the boys.  

No beta, so all mistakes are mine.

This is for Ralf who likes my humourous stories

“Don't look now, but we're being watched.” Lieutenant Malcolm Reed, of the Starship Enterprise, spoke so quietly, that Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III could only just hear him, but he obeyed the command. He remained leaning against the balcony's parapet looking back towards the conference room they had just left. Formal meetings between Captain Archer and alien diplomats were always a bore, but Malcolm had been needed for his tactical skills and Trip for his engineering knowledge. Everyone else had been given the evening off.

Malcolm was now also leaning against the parapet, but looking out over the garden. Nonchalantly, he turned round to imitate Trip's stance.

“Oh? Who by?” Trip was wondering.

“Hoshi and Liz.”

“I take it you know exactly where they are?”

“Of course. I saw them as soon as we came out here.”

“Were they waiting for us, then?”

“Shouldn't think so. They are supposed to be insect spotting.”

“Insects! Ugh! Can't stand 'em.

“Liz asked Hoshi to help her,” Malcolm went on, “Said two pairs of eyes were better than one.”

“But now they've decided we're more interesting?”


“Are they still watching?”

“Yes. I don't know what they're hoping to see.”

“Well, they do call us the Disaster Twins. Perhaps they're hoping we'll fall off this balcony, or something.”

Malcolm turned towards Trip, with a dangerous gleam in his eye.

“You're usually game for a laugh, aren't you?”

“Yeees.” Trip drew out the word. He wasn't sure where this was going, and Malcolm's jokes could be quite 'interesting'.

“I've got an idea.”

“You bein' the tactical man, it doesn't surprise me.”

“Are you in?”


“No. Either you're in, and we do it, or you're not, and we don't.”

“Gee, Malcolm. Great choice you're giving me.”

“Well? They're still watching. We could have a lot of fun.”

“OK,” Trip sighed. He knew when to give in. “Whaddya want me to do?”

“ Turn towards me and act as if you're trying to persuade me to do something.”

“'Kay. Like this?” Trip turned and waved his hands round a bit.

“Yes.” Malcolm remained still.

“But you're not doing anything.”

“That's the point.”

Trip shrugged. “So what now?”

“Take a step toward me. Not too close!” As Trip stepped forward, Malcolm stepped back.

“Now you've backed away!” Trip raised his hands in protest. He wasn't understanding this little game. How was it going to be a joke on Hoshi and Liz?

“And I'm up against the side of the balcony. I can't go any further.”Malcolm was literally backed into the angle of the balcony. The waist level parapet was actually digging in to his back. He continued giving Trip instructions.

“Turn and look over the garden. Lean on the balcony and shake your head.”

“I'm supposed to be disappointed?”

“That's right.”

“I can do disappointed.” He did as instructed, with a sad look on his face.

“Now turn and face me again and wave your hands round a bit.”

“Like this? Hey, now you've turned your back to me. Are you playing coy?”

“You're getting the idea. So now I turn back around and face you. Take another step toward me again.”

“We'll be mighty close if I do.”

“I know.”

“If you were a girl, this would really be great fun.”

“But I'm not, so you'll have to endure it. Put your hands either side of my face.”

“You serious?” Trip couldn't believe what Malcolm was asking of him.

“Perfectly!” Malcolm looked quite serious. “Just remember there are two girls out there watching our every move. And probably having kittens as they do so.”

Obediently, Trip put his hands up to Malcolm's face. An odd sort of tingling sensation went through him as he did so.

“Good,” said Malcolm in a strangely husky sort of voice, “now kiss me.”

“What?” Trip nearly backed away, but stopped himself.

“You heard.”

“This could blow up in our faces if we're not careful.”

“And you know how I love explosions. Get on with it.”

Trip leaned down and gently touched his lips to Malcolm's. He was surprised when Malcolm responded, and for a moment they were both lost in the kiss.

Then Malcolm pulled away, and murmured, “Er, I don't know about you, but I just heard an enormous explosion.”

“You too? It deafened me.”

“You... you can put your hands down now, if you want.”

“Don't want. But I 's'pose I'd better.” He dropped his hands and turned to lean on the balcony again breathing heavily. “Do you think they're still watching?”

“If the situation was reversed, wouldn't you be?” Malcolm also seemed to be having trouble with his breathing.

“Reckon I'd be glued to the binoculars.”

“So what now?”

“You're the ideas man, what do you suggest?”

“Would you say that was – well - like a rehearsal?”

“S'pose so.”

“Then maybe now we should go for a 'take'?”

“You really like living dangerously, don't you?”

“Sometimes. So we replay it from where I said 'take another step towards me.' OK?”

“That means I have to be back here again.” Trip moved back to his original position. “I'm ready.”

“What is it the director would say? Something like 'OK. We're going for a take. Cameras – Action'. Take a step towards me.”

Trip did so until he was close up to Malcolm.

“Now put your hands either side of my face.” Trip complied, cupping Malcolm's face gently between his palms.

“I don't think you need to tell me what to do next,” he whispered as he leaned in close. He touched his lips to Malcolm's for the second time in just a few minutes, and kissed him deeply. He slid his arms around Malcolm and was rewarded by the feel of the armoury officer's arms coming up and around him. They neither of them wanted to break the kiss, but had to come up for air eventually.

With his head resting on Trip's shoulder, Malcolm repeated his earlier question, “So, what now?”

“You're the ideas man,” Trip continued replaying the scene, “What do you suggest?”

“Keep going?” Now that wasn't in the script!

“Ooh, yeah.” In the script or not, Trip liked the idea.

“Better still, let's go somewhere more private.”

“You're on..” Trip put his arm round Malcolm's shoulders, Malcolm put his around Trip's waist, and they left the balcony in search of some privacy.

~ ~ ~

In a small restaurant across the town, Hoshi and Liz, were having a fun evening with Travis and Phlox.

Insects? What insects?



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