Episode Limericks
Silent Enemy
An alien ship, most silent Turned out to be rather malevolent But
with Reed and Trip's science and the Captain's defiance Earth's
response to the bugs was quite violent
We've been scanned! Who did it? And why? Reed's folks made us all
want to cry. Trip and Mal fixed the guns, Scared off the silent
ones, Then had pineapple cake on the sly.
Shuttlepod One
"Do not make OMT cranky!" (Mal sniffled a bit in his hanky.) They
used 'tato mash To seal up the gash And then huddled under a
blankie.
Trip and Mal thought ENT was dust. Malcolm said his farewells, but
Trip just Popped a fifth of good whiskey They didn't get
frisky Instead our boys learned about trust.
Singularity
CARRRRRROTS!!!!!! echoed from the mess hall. Trip and Mal, like
young schoolboys they did brawl. Dr Phlox went knife happy. Archer's
writing was crappy. But at length they were saved by ol' T'Pol.
Future Tense
When Trip and Mal worked on the pod They started to note something
odd When Trip and Mal worked on the pod They started to note
something odd When Trip and Mal worked on the pod They started to
note something odd When Trip and Mal worked on the pod They started
to note something odd A wrinkle in time? "Was that your line or
mine?" "We've done this before, my old sod!"
The Crossing
Wissssp!Trip really went for the chow And his friends weren't
leavin' nohow. Hoshi simmered, Mal leered, Tough!Phlox was to be
feared Concerned!Archer furrowed his brow.
Wissssp!Trip had everyone fooled. Wisssp!Malcolm Reed said, "Yeah,
Sex Ruled!" Travis nearly got gored Rostov's Wissssp soon got
bored. Some saw PJ!Polly and drooled.
The Breach
Malcolm and Trip were quite sore From sliding along the cave
floor. Travis saving their bacon From a bloody mess makin' But as
for the ropes, we say, "More!"
In sickbay our poor boys were achin' From falls that their backsides
were breakin' Yet worse than the pain Was a lingering stain On
their reps, 'cause Phlox thought they were fakin'.
|
General Limericks
Decon
While in Decon with Mal and Trip After Phlox made them both
strip Dr. Phlox suddenly discovered When their bodies were
uncovered They were the best in shape on the ship!
Mal went to Decon with Trip To avoid infecting the whole
ship They slathered with gel Trip let out a yell Cause Malcolm
had made a lewd slip
When Tucker bumped Reed in Decon With a gel-laden, vibrating
prawn, Said Reed, "Our Miss Sato Might say, 'arigato!' But I
think I'll keep my clothes on."
When Trip bumped Mr Reed in decon Malcie took it for some kind of
come on "But...but..." Tucker stammered. "I've just been
TripHammered," Mal sighed, and said "Sorry, there, Jon!"
Zero-G Twister
Mal needed help to unzip the pocket that caught on the pip of his
friend there beside him after he tried To play zero-G Twister with
Trip.
Malcolm and Trip were entwined And neither of them seemed to
mind Trip thought about winning But his head was spinning ... And
"right foot-blue" left him quite blind
After all that, Mal was grinning. Said Trip, "This is just the
beginning. I jus' know you'll love it -- You'll be glad we've done
it." As he talked his friend into sinning
Other
Trip said, "Please don't make me beg: I won't kiss that Bundy named
Peg! I'd rather pick Reed (He's cuter indeed) Or Jon, Amy, Beth,
Jo, or Meg!"
Shuttlepods One and Two hover Over the statue called "Lover" So
Trip can get pics And watch Malcolm fix The ceiling that's broken
above'er.
If Mal were to give Trip a flower... Miss Thang would no longer look
dour. But Hoshi would scream At the end of her dream And Archer
would certainly glower!
Trip and Mal shared an ice cream While rowing a boat on a
stream. But their craft sprung a leak- Opined Malcolm,
"Eeeeeeeeek!" What Trip plugged it with made Mal *gleam*.
Malcolm Reed is quite proper and prim His appearance can seem rather
grim; But Trip knows him better Reed obeys to the letter Lest it
involves taking a swim.
Mal told Tucker where he could shove it (Just a little more left and
above it). Complained Trip, "I can't reach!" Phlox said, "I've a
leech Which should do the trick -- I'm so proud of it!"
Reed laughed when Trip Tucker made threats to bet on the Yanks
'gainst the Mets So Trip grabbed him quite roughly Then things got a
bit scuffly But when dust cleared they had no regrets!
Reed "out of the closet" was sent When way over backwards he
bent For Commander Charles Tucker, That badass mother**cker, And
Mal said, "How well that repeatedly went!"...
wychwood found herself 'twixt Mal and Trip A4T gave advice: "Get a
grip!" She fainted with shock When she woke up, the
clock Indicated she'd just dreamt her 'ship.
Malcolm and Trip had a way That was so illogical that T'pol would
say "Come and get me boys You're much better than toys" But
Starfleet rules all say "ix-nay."
In order to appease the Brit Who had worked himself into a
snit Trip brought him a gun. Now the damage is done But 'twas
worth it Trip had to admit!
A story in limericks...
On the bridge there was a brawl Which caused Trip and Mal's big
fall. Trip landed on top and heard a loud *pop* Coming from him
on whom he did sprawl.
Mal gasped, "Commander, please stop -- My heart rate is starting to
drop! I'm feeling quite faint" "Ah, hush yer complaint! Though
it's too bad that we broke the prop!"
Trip continued, "I know I'm no saint. Though my manners can be
rather quaint I'm here to bust some heads And sunder marriage beds
{{well, such as they are}} But a cardiac crusher I ain't!"
At that point, Mal needed some meds For his nerves were hanging in
shreds Trip called him a "sissy" Which made Mal quite pissy So he
socked Trip in both of his heads.
Trip said "Sorry that I was so dissy." Mal apologized for his fit
hissy. Will they kiss and make up? and on caviar sup? (skip the
food, wych wants to see kissy!)
So the next time things start to heat up Trip will offer Mal
kindness' cup. 'cause Southern boys are sweet And as Trip's special
treat... He'll also offer Mal a quick shtupp.
Mal went out to shoot a cow 'Cause Trip wanted ribs for his
chow. But the rustle in the grass Was Porthos, alas! But that's
something Ol' Archer won't allow.
And finally... The Camptown Races, Enterprise style!
Mal went out to shoot a cow Doo-dahhh! Doo-Dahhh! For target
practice and some chow! Oh, doo-dah dayyy! Reed-alert all
night! Reed-alert all day! I'll bet my money on that uptight
Brit One shot blows that cow clean awayyy!!
|