"Smothered"
Title: Smothered Rating: NC-17 Warning: Some Violence Spoilers:
Not really - but maybe First Flight Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters,
Paramount do. I just like to play with them now and again. This story may
not be published anywhere else without the author’s permission
*~*~*~*~*
As for the character of Mark...you can have him.
*~*~*~*~*
Trip looked into the eyes of his new lover and knew he could put his trust in
him. He had not been able to that with any other person in a long time. Except
maybe Jon, but that was as a friend. He snuggled closer to Malcolm. The
gentleness of the man as they had made love was astounding. He never thought he
would feel anything like this. Then the panic started to rise.
Malcolm saw the worried look in Trip’s eyes and mistook it for something
else, not realising at this point how wrong he was. He thought Trip felt unsure
of him self and wanted to but his worries to rest. “We’ll take this one step at
a time,” Malcolm spoke softly into Trip’s ear, gently stroking the blonde hair
and kissing his forehead. He pulled Trip closer to him and knew he never wanted
to let go.
Trip sighed and felt his body slowly relax. He thought of the last time he
had been with a man and once more the panic started to rise. Suddenly he felt
like he was being smothered. He pushed away from Malcolm and more or less jumped
out of the bed. He scrambled around the cabin looking for his clothes.
“I gotta go. I can’t stay!” he said with rising alarm.
Malcolm frowned. “Trip what’s wrong? You don’t have to go,” he tried to say
calmly but desperation was starting to rise in him. He didn’t want to lose this
man He left the bed and the warmth that their two bodies had made beneath the
blanket. He followed Trip as he went round the cabin picking up his clothes that
had been discarded earlier. Finally Malcolm couldn’t take it any longer and
gently but firmly grabbed Trip by the shoulders.
“Trip! Trip calm down will you. Tell me what’s wrong.” What he saw in the
blue eyes of the man he held made him gasp and his heart lurched at the fear
that was so clearly there.
Trip looked back and knew in his heart he wanted what Malcolm was so freely
offering him, but his mind didn’t want to go there. He tried to break lose of
the grip but the hands that held him were strong. “Le’ me go,” he whispered.
“Please.” He looked at the deck of the cabin and sighed.
“I can’t let you leave this way,” Malcolm spoke softly. “Something is not
right and I need to know.” He gently pulled Trip closer to him. “Is it something
I did? Tell me.”
Trip looked back at his friend…..no lover……and saw desperation in the grey
blue eyes that looked back. “No. It has nothing to do with tonight.” He thought
back to earlier in the evening and remembered the love making that had been
gentle and sweet. “It’s got nothin’ to do with you Malcolm.” He looked down at
the deck. “It’s me,” he said quietly. Once again he tried to get free and knew
the man holding him was not going to let him go without a fight.
Malcolm slowly moved Trip backwards until his legs touched the bed. He pushed
him down until he was sitting on the edge and sat down beside him. He put his
hand on Trip’s shoulder. “You want to tell me?” He moved his hand down his
lover’s back and slowly started stroking. He felt Trip start to relax once more.
Trip closed his eyes as his back was gently caressed. It felt good and he
sighed.
“I don’t think I can tell y’. I’m not sure I want to.” He leaned into the
hand that was soothing him, never wanting it to end but his mind shouted that it
didn’t want was happening.
Malcolm moved his arm so that it was laying across Trip’s shoulders and
squeezed gently. “You can take your time, there’s no rush.” Hoping this would
keep Trip calm. He looked around his cabin and his eyes rested on the closet. He
stood, walked over to it and opened the doors. After a brief search he found
what he was looking for and turned to his lover. “Maybe this will help,” as he
held up a bottle of whiskey.
Trip looked over to where Malcolm was standing, gave a small smile and shook
his head. “Ay better no’ drink too much unless y’ wan’ to hear my whole life
story.”
Malcolm returned the smile and went to a cupboard to get two glasses.
Returning to the bed he once again sat next to Trip. He gave one glass to him,
unscrewed the cap off the bottle and poured a generous amount of the amber
liquid into each glass. Replacing the cap on the bottle, he put it on the floor
by the bed.
“Here’s to your life story,” he said as he raised his glass towards Trip.
Trip raised his own glass and smiled. They both took a sip then Malcolm put
his hand on Trip’s lower arm and pressed his fingers gently. Trip felt the
warmth seeping into his skin. His body wanted to feel that warmth all over, as
it had earlier. He wanted to just be able to enjoy what his lover had to give
him and wanted so much to return that love. He felt his eyes begin to itch with
the tears that were building up. Tears he knew would release the tension.
“Just start with what ever comes to your mind and take it from there,”
Malcolm whispered. “What ever it is that’s bothering you we can deal with
together.”
That was all it took for the tears to flow. Trip gave a small sob and rubbed
his face with his hand and took a deep breath.
They started to talk one morning while waiting for the transport to arrive to
take them to the different parts of the city in which they worked. Trip had
noticed the other man on previous mornings and had found him self wondering what
it would be like to be held in his arms. He didn’t even know if the man was
attracted to men until he asked Trip to join him for a drink. Trip had accepted
willingly.
His name was Mark. He was almost the same height and build as Trip, but his
hair was dark brown and his eyes were hazel. He worked for a construction
company…..a manager of some kind…..and loved outdoor activities, which helped
him to stay in shape.
The bar was crowded but the two men found seats at the bar. They ordered
drinks and started talking about things in general. The night progressed and as
the alcohol took effect they found that they had a mutual attraction for each
other. Mark took hold of Trip’s hand and suggested they leave and go somewhere
private. That was the first night of a relationship that would be more like a
roller coaster ride.
Trip took another sip of the whiskey. The tears had stopped flowing and
somehow felt a little better now that he had started to tell Malcolm the reason
behind his panic.
Malcolm had sat further back on the bed and was leaning against the bulk
head, all the time rubbing Trip’s back while he spoke. He knew his lover needed
this outlet and didn’t say a word. He just let him tell his story. His turn for
speaking would come later.
Trip took another sip of whiskey, another deep breath then continued.
After about three months, Trip and Mark had decided that keeping two
apartments was pointless as they tended to spend most of their time together at
Mark’s place. It was agreed that Trip would give up his place and move in with
Mark. The first few months were good if not wonderful.
Then one night Trip had some news. He couldn’t wait for Mark to get home. He
cooked dinner and opened a bottle of wine. Had set the table and placed candles
on it. He heard the door open and a few seconds later Mark appeared.
Mark looked at the table as Trip came up to him and told him he had some good
news, but that it could wait until they were eating. He suggested that Mark get
cleaned up while he served up the meal. They sat at the table, wine was poured
and they ate. After a few minutes Trip found he couldn’t hold onto his news any
longer. He looked at Mark and smiled. Then he told him. Told him that he Charles
Tucker the Third had been chosen to work on the warp project with the designer’s
son Jonathan Archer, a commander in Starfleet. He told him about the place where
he would be working, about how much he had wanted this while he ate his food.
What he didn’t see was his lover just staring at him. When he did look up all he
saw was a flicker of anger briefly in Mark’s eyes. Then it was gone.
Mark asked all sorts of questions, but mainly about the people Trip would be
working with. As Trip finished describing the sort of man Jonathan Archer was,
Mark had stopped eating and once again stared at Trip, but this time he kept his
anger in check.
“If only I’d known the reason for the brief flash o’ anger tha’ first time, I
woulda left there an’ then.”
Trip laid back on the bed and rested his head on Malcolm’s thigh. Malcolm’s
hand again stroked the blonde head and still said nothing, waiting for Trip to
continue in his own time.
Two weeks later Trip came home later than usual. He opened the door to the
apartment, seeing it was dark, turned on the light. He thought Mark was probably
in bed and went into the bedroom. Mark was sitting in a chair by the window,
looking out at the street below. He slowly turned towards Trip. Trip saw the
anger again flash in those hazel eyes and it scared him. Mark asked him if he
always got a lift home or was it only when he was going to be late. Trip said no
that Commander Archer was visiting a friend in the area and offered him a lift
home.
Mark sprung like a cat from the chair and before Trip could react he had been
punched in his stomach. The wind was knocked out of him. Mark yelled at him not
to lie that he had seen them in the car talking. He wanted to know what else
they had been up to. Trip tried to answer but before he could, Mark grabbed him
by the hair and yanked his head back. He brought his face close to Trips and
snarled at him that from now on he was to come home his usual time. No working
late, no going for a drink with those people, but most of all to not accept
lifts from that Archer again.
Trip tried to break free of the grip and for his efforts he was slapped
across his face. Mark let him go and he slumped to the floor. He lay there not
moving for fear that it would bring more blows. He couldn’t believe what had
just happened. Later that night he lay in bed next to the man he thought loved
him and who he thought cared for him. His stomach still ached and he had notice
a bruise slowly materialising on his face.
“Y’ wan’ t’ know how I explained the bruise?” He didn’t wait for Malcolm
to answer. “Ay told Jon that I’d tripped on the bathroom mat an’ hit my face on
the door handle.” He rubbed his face with his hand still remembering that first
slap, the first of many.
“He started t’ control my life bi’ by bi’ without me even realising i’,” he
said a little harshly. “When we went ou’ anywhere, he’d keep me close to him. If
I so much as looked at another guy when we go’ home he’d make me pay,” he said
with anger that was now evident in his voice. “Ay bet your wondering why I
didn’t leave. Well I’ll tell y’. Every time I tried t’ leave, he say he was
sorry, tha’ it wouldn’t happen again,” Trip laughed. “An’ I believed him. I was
stupid ay know, but I was scared. Scared of wha’ he would do if I tried.” The
tears began to flow again but this time they were in anger and not despair.
Trip sat up on the bed and reached down for the bottle of whiskey, offered
some to Malcolm who shook his head, then poured another generous amount into his
own glass. He took a gulp of the age old liquid and swallowed it down, relishing
the slight burning sensation in his throat as it travelled down to his stomach.
It felt good. He knew there was only a little more of this story to go so he
once more laid his head on Malcolm’s thigh and concluded his story.
After about a year of this way of living, Trip decided to leave Mark. He
couldn’t take any more. He felt his life was no longer his own. The only time he
was happy was when he was working on the warp engine. The only time he laughed
was when he was with Jon. Even though they had become close friends, Trip didn’t
feel he could tell Jon or anyone else what was happening. He made is decision.
On that particular day, Trip left for work as usual. Mark always left after
him. When he arrived at work he went straight to his commander and told him he
had to leave early that day because he had an appointment. Jon didn’t question
him and told him to just go when it was time. That time came and Trip said
goodbye to Jon and he walked out of the lab. He went home and packed his bags.
He was going to go back to his parents. He would call Jon the next day and
explain.
As he was closing the last bag, he heard the door to the hallway open. He
couldn’t believe it. That couldn’t be Mark…..he wasn’t due home for at least a
couple of hours. He started to feel a panic rise and desperately tried to think
of what to do. He looked down at the bags, picked them up and threw them into
the open closet. Just as he closed the doors, the bedroom door opened. He turned
and saw Mark standing in the doorway.
“He wanted to know why I was home. Ay tol’ him that I hadn’t felt well and
tha’ Commander Archer had suggested that I go home and rest.” Trip closed his
eyes, picturing the scene in his mind. “Mark must have sensed that I was lyin’.
He lunged at me and grabbed me by the throa’.”
Trip sat up on the bed again and took another drink of whiskey. This time he
didn’t lay back down. Sitting up, staring at the bulkhead in front him without
really seeing it, he finished his story.
Mark grabbed Trip between the legs and squeezed. Trip couldn’t scream as his
throat was being closed by the hand that held it tight. Mark then threw him onto
the floor, yelling that he was a liar and that he couldn’t trust him anymore.
Accusing him of having an affair with Archer and probably others behind his
back. When Trip tried to speak, to tell him it wasn’t true, he was kicked in the
ribs, he felt at least two of them break. Another foot connected with his jaw.
There was another kick to his groin.
Trip curled up into the foetal position trying to protect him self. His arms
wrapped around his head. He felt pain shooting up his spine as more kicks struck
his back over and over again. One final kick struck his head and he felt himself
blacking out. Mark stood over him and told him he was nothing but a whore and a
slut and that he wasn’t worth the effort anymore. Before darkness descended on
his mind, Trip heard the outer door slam shut. Mark was gone.
“The nex’ thin’ I know I’m waking up in bed at Starfleet Medical Centre. When
I turned my head I saw Jon sitting in a chair, he was asleep. Ay found out later
he’d been there all the time I was knocked out…….five days. They told me Jon had
found me when he came lookin’ for me after I didn’t turn up a’ work and I didn’t
answer his calls. They though’ I wouldn’t make i’.”
Trip looked down at his hands, at the knuckles that were white from being
clasped so tightly around the glass. He consciously relaxed them. “They tol’ me
I had four broken ribs, a busted jaw, a severely bruised kidney, concussion,
internal bleeding and a fractured vertebrae. They said that if Mark had kicked
me any harder he would have broken my back…..I would have been paralysed.”
He had come to the end of his story and felt a weight lift off him. Even
though he had told Jon about the last attack, he never told the rest of the
tale. Trip slumped his shoulders and let out a long slow breath. He felt Malcolm
move, turned to look at him and saw tears spilling from the man’s eyes.
Malcolm felt the eyes of his lover on him and looked up at the face that had
been through so much pain. He couldn’t find any words that would be of any use.
All he could think of to say was, “What happened to the bastard?”
“They caught him, he was tried and sentenced to ten years. I’ll give some
credit to Starfleet, they don’t mess aroun’ when one o’ their own gets hurt,” he
smiled. “He’s still got about another eighteen months to two years to serve.” He
looked back at his glass in his now more relaxed hands. “He was the last man I
went with until now,” he whispered.
Malcolm smiled back. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his lover
and leaned his head against Trip’s back. “He’s lucky I won’t be on Earth when he
gets out. I’d like to show him what real pain is.”
“I be’ you would too,” Trip chuckled. He stood, walked to the desk and placed
his glass on it. He turned to face Malcolm. “Now you know why ay panicked. I
know how you like t’ be in control and I was scared that it would happen again.”
Malcolm stood and took the couple of steps towards his lover. He leaned
forward and gently brushed his lips on Trip’s. “In here no one is in control. We
just take it as it comes. If one of us doesn’t like what is happening, we stop,”
he paused as he kissed Trip more firmly on the lips. “And most important of all
is that we trust each other.” He looked up into Trip’s wonderful blue eyes,
moved his hand to the back of his neck and gently pulled Trip’s head forward.
Their lips connected as did their bodies as they leaned into each other.
Trip felt alive and wanted nothing more than to make love to the man in his
arms. He manoeuvred them until Malcolm’s legs were against the bed and gently
laid Malcolm onto his back. Trip moved his hands along the firm muscles that lay
beneath the smooth skin. Malcolm gasped as Trip kissed his neck and nibbled his
ear, slowly working his way down, to a nipple that was now hard.
Malcolm closed his eyes and let his body go with the sensations it was
feeling. He didn’t touch Trip, he just let him do what he needed to do. He felt
Trip lean over him and then came back. He relaxed and waited. Strong hands moved
his legs apart and bring his knees up. He felt a hand stroke his now fully erect
organ as it worked its way down to a more sensitive spot. The finger entered him
slowly and smoothly, his breath caught in his throat. Lips touched his, he
parted his own and his mouth was invaded by the whiskey flavoured tongue of his
lover.
Trip slowly pushed two fingers into his lover as he kissed him, fighting for
room inside Malcolm’s mouth with his tongue. Three fingers were now gently
caressing the inside of his lover’s body and he knew when he had hit the spot as
he felt Malcolm’s mouth break into a smile and heard him moan. Trip felt him
self become harder. He straightened himself as he entered him in a slow smooth
movement. He heard the gasp come from Malcolm and looked up to see grey blue
eyes looking back at him. Malcolm nodded and Trip began to move him self inside
Malcolm.
Malcolm felt Trip enter him and it was the most exquisite sensation he had
felt for a long time. He opened his eyes and saw those ice blue eyes looking
right into his own. He nodded to Trip and one of the most wonderful feeling
crept through his body as his lover moved inside him. He put his hands on Trip’s
back and rubbed them along the strong muscles that flexed with every movement he
made. He moved his hips in rhythm with his lover’s movements and soon felt him
self wanting to explode. Trip cried out as he felt him let go inside of him and
mere seconds later his own body shuddered as he let go of his own seed.
Trip leaned forward with his hands either side of Malcolm as he waited for
his body to return to its normal state. His breathing was quick and his heart
was beating so fast it felt like one continuous beat. Slowly he laid on top of
Malcolm who wrapped his arms around him and kissed his neck and then whispered
two words.
“Thank you.”
They laid down facing each other, letting their bodies and minds recover from
the love that they had just shared. Trip then rose from the bed and went to the
bathroom returning with a wash cloth. After cleaning themselves, Trip returned
to the bed and laid back down with Malcolm’s warm smooth body spooned into his
own, he pulled the blanket over them, kissed the back of his lover’s neck and
wrapped his arms around him.
Trip heard the steady breathing of the sleeping man he held and didn’t want
to let go. “No. Thank you Malcolm,” he spoke softly. He soon fell into a deep
sleep and tonight, for the first time in a long while, there would be no
nightmare to wake him.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Free is a continuation of this story.
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