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"Undiscovered Countries" Author: Trillian Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters, only the storyline belongs to the
author and may not be archived anywhere else but here without the author's
permission. *~*~*~*~*~*~* "I'm sorry, Trip, I'm so awfully nervous." Malcolm squatted down to pick up the pieces of glass that were lying all around his feet, while Trip grabbed a towel out of his cupboard. They had finally picked up the courage to arrange something like a date, after almost two endless weeks of discreetly flirting, sending each other amorous notes, hidden among technical or tactical suggestions or reports on PADDs they handed each other. They had chosen movie night to finally spend a little more off-duty time together. Aside from the regular meals in the mess and their sessions in the gym. Being late already, they had only taken a modest and quick dinner in Malcolm's quarters, avoiding to talk about any other topics than tonight's movie. They had gone together to watch the movie, sitting next to each other without touching, though well aware or the lover's presence. And they had left together afterwards, without anyone else suspecting any of the emotional turmoil that was going on inside both men. Finally, Trip had asked Malcolm for a drink in his quarters, not really expecting him to accept. But here he was, picking up the pieces of the glass his trembling hand hadn't been able to hold any longer. "Be careful, don' cut yourself." Trip held out a plate for Malcolm to put the pieces onto, then handed him the towel to wipe himself down. "Thanks." Malcolm cleaned the legs of his uniform as well as he could, then folded the towel and sat down on Trip's bunk. Trip moved over to him from the table and held out a newly filled glass to him, but Malcolm declined. "I don't think that's such a good idea. I might break that as well." Trip put down both glasses on the table and sat down next to Malcolm, concern in his eyes. He took one of Malcolm's shaking hands in his own, stroking it gently. They sat in silence side by side for a while, Malcolm's hand in Trip's, the two men leaning against each other, feeling the warmth radiating from one another. Not in a hurry to find words, or to move, or to break the spell in any other way. Until Malcolm finally whispered: "Trip, I've never done this before." He looked up and straight into Trip's bright blue eyes. "I want so much to feel you close to me, but I – I didn't think I'd be so - " His voice broke, and he took a deep breath. Trip put his arm around his friend's shoulder and placed a soft kiss on the slightly smaller man's temple. "Afraid?" he whispered. Malcolm nodded slowly. "Hey," Trip continued. "Jus' because I was the one who made the firs' move doesn' mean I'm the more experienced one." Malcolm looked up at him. "You – mean, you have never – um, with – a man?" "Nope. So don't ya dare tell me abou' bein' nervous, Lieutenant!" Trip grinned. "On second thought, wha' abou' those fantasies you tol' me about this afternoon?" Malcolm had to look away again, trying to hide the fact that he was blushing. "Well, there's – there's a difference between fantasizing and – well – doing it." Trip nodded. "That's true." He paused, remembering how he had forced himself to be content with just his own fantasies for so long, before finally confessing to his friend. He took Malcolm by the shoulders and turned him towards him. "An' you remember what I said about you havin' all the time you need. Let's jus' kiss an' say good night, if that's what you'd prefer righ' now. I wouldn' min'. Well," he rolled his eyes. "of course I would min', but I'd survive it." Malcolm flashed a smile at Trip that didn't only radiate from his lips, but also from his grey eyes. "Wild horses couldn't drag me out of this room without having at least, well, tried. Let's just take it slowly, alright?" "Um, Malcolm," Trip started. "You know, this sure isn't somethin' you can jus' look up in the Vulcan database." Malcolm suppressed a giggle at the statement, as Trip continued, grinning, "And I don't think either of us is keen on runnin' around on the ship, askin' if there's anyone who could give us some advice on – how - to, you know. So we're pretty much alone on this." "Oh, I'm sure we could always ask Phlox." Malcolm joked. "Actually, you're right." Trip replied with mock-seriousness, frowning. "He might even have pictures." "Don't you dare!" Malcolm slipped his arms around Trip's waist and placed a tender kiss on his lips. They stared at each other for a moment, enjoying the other man's presence and warmth. "What I was tryin' to say," Trip started once more, "we don' have to - ," he paused, desperately looking for the right words. "I mean, there's more than one way we can, you know, please each other." Now it was Trip's turn to blush and look away. Malcolm sighed. "I'm sure there is." He kicked off his boots and knelt down on the bed, facing Trip. "I think I've never felt like this for anyone before. I know this is right, so nothing we do can be wrong. I've learned to trust you with my life, and nothing keeps me from trusting you with my body and soul right here and now. Hold me close to you, Trip. We will just let ourselves go, and everything will be okay." "Jeez, Malcolm. I love you." Trip whispered, taking his lover into his arms. Kissing passionately for the first time, they sunk back onto the bed, ready to lose all sense of time and space.
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