"Paradise Regained"

Author: Trillian
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Minefield maybe
Beta: Jensen
Sequel to: For Worse or For Better
Disclaimer:Paramount owns the characters, only the storyline belongs to the author and may not be archived anywhere else but here without the author's permission.

A/N: A gazillion thanks to Jensen for giving me the key, showing me the door, and holding my hand all the way through this journey.

Paradise Regained

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Somewhere somebody's fearless and someone won't wind up dead
Somewhere two hearts are pounding and they don't care what's correct
Somewhere somebody's falling in love without a background check"

"Hey, Malcolm!" Trip shouted as he strode into the armoury, waving a PADD.

He was convinced that he had finally found something to cheer up his lover who had been in a more than just bleak mood ever since his resuscitation. Malcolm had withdrawn himself from Trip after the incident up to a point where he hadn't only stopped sharing his bed and his thoughts with the engineer, but had even decided that a separation would be the best way for him to refocus on his job and his regained life.

Trip had managed to change Malcolm's mind and to save their relationship. At least a fragment of it. He still felt that he didn't really have Malcolm back completely. His beloved Lieutenant was still very uncommunicative. But Trip had been successful on this special mission before. And he was sure he would be again.

"Well well, aren't we in a good mood," Malcolm replied. He sat at his desk, brooding over a pile of PADDs. "Could you please talk a little softer? I have a headache."

"Again?" Trip lowered his hand that held the PADD and sat down at the desk across from Malcolm, concern in his gaze. Malcolm's physical health was another thing that wasn't quite the same anymore. Maybe Trip could kill two birds with one stone.

"Can't seem to get rid of them these days." Malcolm admitted, closing his eyes.

"Won' Phlox give ya anythin' agains' it?" Trip asked.

"I'm sure he would," Malcolm replied, rubbing his eyes with thumb and forefinger. "But I'm sick of being filled to the brim with chemicals."

Trip took a deep breath. "Maybe Ah have the solution for ya problem."

Malcolm snorted. "Then let's hear it, Doctor Tucker."

The Commander put his PADD on top of the pile in front of Malcolm. "Have you seen the analysis reports about the M-class planet that's on our course? "

"Yes, some of them," Malcolm sighed, removing the unasked for addition to his work, laying it on the desk further away from him. "Why?"

"Cap'n's suggested a security check so he can send some of the crew on a shoreleave," Trip continued. "It's ideal for it."

"Would you please let me be the judge of that?" Malcolm snapped. "I'm the one who's in charge of that security check. And what does that have to do with my headaches?"

Trip leaned closer and said quietly, "Ya need a vacation, Mister Security! That's what. Ta take ya min' off things. Ya've just been through too much lately. Firs' that attack that almos' killed ya, and then ..." he paused and hung his head. "An' Ah could use one as well, to be honest."

Malcolm leaned back in his chair. "You're basically right, but the last thing I need is to spend another day and night tied up in some cellar."

"What?" Trip's eyes widened with surprise.

"Mister Tucker, almost everytime I go on some kind of shoreleave with you it ends up in a disaster," Malcolm smirked.

Trip rolled his eyes. "That's the good thing, Malcolm," Trip picked up the PADD and placed it on top of Malcolm's pile again. "There's noone there to tie us up this time. T'Pol scanned the whole planet. It's paradise!"

"There was a snake in paradise!" Malcolm retorted.

"Malcolm!" Trip felt frustration rise within himself. 'That man jus' doesn' wanna le' me get close ta him!'

"Yes, sorry," Malcolm paused and rubbed his eyes again. "Maybe you're right. I should take a break."

"A long one!" Trip smiled again. "But if ya'd like ta get a secon' opinion, Ah'm sure Doctor Phlox is willing ta agree wi' me."

Malcolm picked up the PADD and looked at it, pondering. 'Why can't he just leave me alone? I'm not ready to go on an adventure safari.' He laid the PADD next to his pile and looked up at Trip.

"Say, why don't you go on a hiking and rock climbing tour with the Captain, and I sleep in for a few days in a row. That'll do me good as well."

Trip got up and shook his head in despair. Why wouldn't Malcolm understand what he was trying to do? "Ah don' wanna go hikin'. Ah' wanna be with you. Ah'm talkin' 'bout a nice eventless vacation, jus' you an' me. Bu' if you won' go, neither will I."

"Don't be ridiculous," the Lieutenant snorted.

"Ah'm no' bein' ridiculous, Malcolm!" Trip shouted. "Bu' you're bein' unreasonable. Really, Ah' can get Phlox ta ORDER ya off this ship, if that's what it takes!"

"Whew, calm down, Commander!" Malcolm finally had to smile. His lover was really concerned about him. He sighed and thought for a moment. Then he looked at Trip who was watching him, waiting for his reply. "Alright, Trip. I'm too tired to argue. Vacation for two it is then – IF the security check turns out positively! What should I pack?"

Trip beamed and let out a breath. "The island I picked out is supposed to have a pretty warm, but not too hot climate."

"Island?" Malcolm grinned. "Sounds romantic."

"What did you think?" Trip grinned back at him. "Beach and camping gear required," he shouted over his shoulder as he made his way to the door.

"Aye, Sir." Malcolm smiled and shook his head as he leaned back over his PADDs. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

* * * * * * *

Two days later, when the security and environmental checks had been run and Lieutenant Reed's as well as Doctor Phlox's teams had given clearance to the crew to wander around on the planet's surface freely, Enterprise's two shuttlepods had made their rounds and delivered the crew members who had gotten permission for a shoreleave to their respective chosen locations.

Commander Tucker and Lieutenant Reed had set up camp on the small island Trip had picked out for them and now they were heading off for a day on the beach, only dressed in their swimming trunks.

Malcolm settled down on the sand in a safe distance from the ocean and drew a PADD out of the bag he had brought.

Trip stared at Malcolm for a second, then squatted down in front of him and shook his head. "Ah don' believe this, Malcolm. Ya suppose' ta be on vacation! And here you are, with a PADD on your knees and working."

"It's not work, love. It's a novel."

"Ulysses?" Trip joked.

"No. I finished that one quite a while ago. This is David Copperfield."

Trip rolled his eyes. "Jeez! Don' ya wanna go for a swim?"

"You know very well that I don't," Malcolm snapped.

Trip smirked. "Thought I'd give it a try. Will ya be okay here for a while then?"

"Yes, thank you," Malcolm smiled back. "I'll just sit here and read a few chapters. You go ahead."

Trip shrugged and jumped up, then hesitated and squatted down again, looking straight at Malcolm. "Ya sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Go ahead."

"'kay." Trip placed a quick kiss on Malcolm's cheek and started to walk off.

"Trip!" Malcolm called after him. "Be careful!"

Trip stopped in his track, threw his head back and turned around. "Malcolm!" he sighed.

"Sorry. Enjoy yourself!"

Malcolm watched Trip running off towards the water and splash into it like a little boy. He smiled and tried to concentrate on the words on his PADD. After a few minutes he looked up again and watched his lover's arms moving out of the water and back in in regular intervals. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the touch of the warm wind on his skin. 'Alive.' he thought. 'That's what it means to be alive.'

Trip came running back only fifteen minutes later and sat down in the sand next to Malcolm, gasping for breath. Malcolm had to protect his PADD from the little drops of water that sprinkled everything around Trip with every move he made.

"Watch your movements, Trip! You're wet!" Malcolm mockingly chided him.

"Is tha' true?" Trip laughed, then eyed his lover critically. "Have you put on sunscreen?"

"Erm, no not yet."

Trip laughed again. "The ever-so-protective Lieutenant Reed. Afrai' that I migh' ge' bitten by a cockle, bu' exposes himself to the sun withou' protection."

"I'm sitting in the shade, Trip."

"That doesn' make a difference, Malcolm." Trip replied, now seriously. "The sun's radiation also gets into the shade. Don' ya know tha'?"

"Okay, well then, here we go," Malcolm mumbled, rummaging in his bag, and produced a bottle of sunlotion. He flipped the lid open and poured some cream into his hand. Then he handed the bottle to Trip. "Here you are."

Trip took the bottle and moved around to kneel down behind Malcolm. "Ah'll do ya back."

"Thanks."

Malcolm started rubbing the lotion on his chest and legs, thinking about how much he hated the feeling of that relatively cold liquid on his sun-warmed skin. 'Your own fault,' he thought. 'Should have done that before you warmed up.'

He had finished spreading the lotion on his arms, when he noticed that the movement and touch of Trip's hands had turned from gentle massaging into soft stroking, that special kind of touch that had never failed to send shivers down Malcolm's spine. When he felt the familiar warm and tickling sensation fill his stomach and spread further through his body in all directions, he hung his head and voiced his pleasure in a low moan.

Suddenly the tip of Trip's nose which was still ice cold from the water touched the warm skin of Malcolm's neck and tore him out of his semi-trance. He drew a sharp breath.

"Um, Trip?" he managed to say and swallowed.

"Hmm?" came the absent-minded reply from behind Malcolm.

"Shouldn't you put on some sunblocker, too? The radiation, you know."

Trip chuckled and kissed Malcolm's shoulder. "You're right."

Malcolm turned around to Trip and poured some more of the lotion into the palm of his hand, then handed the bottle to Trip again who now turned his back to Malcolm to cream.

Malcolm enjoyed the feeling of Trip's skin under his hands, and the sight of how the muscles in Trip's back and shoulders tensed and relaxed while he moved his arms to put the lotion on other parts of his body.

"Done!" Trip suddenly announced, pulling Malcolm out of his reveries.

"Same here," Malcolm replied. He closed the bottle and tossed it back into the bag. Then he lay down next to Trip who had already made himself comfortable in the warm sand and closed his eyes.

"You know," Malcolm started after a while. "When I come to think about it, I still can't quite believe that you actually told the Captain about us."

"Ah didn'," Trip replied without opening his eyes.

Malcolm turned his head to look at Trip. "What do you mean, you didn't? He knew about us. He told me so himself in the turbolift when we were on our way to visit you in sickbay."

"Yes, Jon knows." Trip said drowsily.

Malcolm rolled over on his side and propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at his lover's relaxed face. "You just asserted you didn't tell him. Care to explain how he knows then?"

Reluctantly, Trip opened his eyes and looked up at Malcolm. "What Ah meant was, Ah didn' tell the Cap'n."

"You didn't tell the Captain," Malcolm repeated, now totally confused.

"No," Trip very slowly shook his head. "But I tol' my bes' friend. There is a huge difference, you know."

Malcolm stared at Trip, then grinned and said, "And I thought I had figured you out," lying down again and closing his eyes.

They lay in silence for another few minutes, until it was Trip's turn to break it.

"Malcolm?" he said.

"Hm?"

"There's somethin' on my min', too."

"And what's that?" Malcolm replied, without moving.

Trip slowly sat up, legs bent, arms propped up on his knees, and watched the waves that lazily rolled upon the shore and murmured a low and unintelligible greeting before melting back into the vastness of the ocean. He sighed, then hung his head and started drawing tiny spirals and circles into the sand between his feet with his finger.

"Trip?" Malcolm sat up as well, and gave his lover a concerned look.

Trip licked his lips. "Ah mean, no' tha' i' should be really importan', bu' it ... still worries me a bit."

"What?"

Trip drew a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Well, erm," he hesitated and cleared his throat, then looked up at Malcolm. "Why haven' we made love since you were injured?"

There, he had said it. It had been on his mind for a while, but he never felt that the right moment had come to raise the topic, until now.

He continued. "Ah know you weren' feelin' very well a' firs'. An' then we ... kinda ... broke up." Trip sighed, sadness in his eyes. "Guess all tha' left quite a few scars."

Now it was Malcolm's turn to watch the shoreline, as he pondered for a few minutes. "I don't know, Trip," he finally said. "Dead calm in my libido, I really don't know."

He paused again before he added, now looking at Trip, "All I know is that you don't really have to worry. I've had time to think. And there's no doubt that I do love you. No matter what." He grinned and nudged Trip. "And you haven't exactly made any first steps yourself, have you?"

Trip threw his head back and closed his eyes to force back the tears that had started gathering. "Ah wan'ed to give you time. To recover, to reconsider, to whatever. Ah though' you jus' weren' feelin' like i'. Yet."

He swallowed the lump in his throat, looked down again and continued drawing in the sand. "Bu' it's sure been a while now." He turned his head towards Malcolm without looking up and added quitely, "Ah miss you."

Malcolm smiled as Trip finally raised his head, and they silently looked at each other for what felt to them like an eternity, sinking and drowning into each other's eyes, oceans of azure and bluish-grey.

"I miss you too, Trip." Malcolm reached up and wiped a tear from Trip's face. "But the vacation isn't over yet, is it?"

"Um, no, it isn', er, what ...?" Trip started as he watched Malcolm getting up and stretching his back.

"Why don't we take a walk along the beach?" Malcolm suggested. "I feel like exercising a bit. If we start now we should make it around the whole island before sunset."

Trip smiled and got up, grabbing the bag as he did so. "Good idea. An' you can protec' me from mutan' seagulls an' crabs."

Malcolm laughed and started walking, the ocean to his right, the hot sand underneath his feet. But most of all in his heart the awareness of his lover's presence, who was walking next to him, arm loosely around his shoulder.

With every step they took, and every word they spoke, they left little bits and pieces of the pent-up tension of the last weeks behind them to dry out and burn in the heatz of the early summer's noon, making room for feelings they had known but lost, and that they were starting to regain. Feelings of safety and trust that were familiar and yet so new.

* * * * * *

When the sun had started setting, Trip and Malcolm had returned to their camp a bit further into the small island and prepared dinner together in an almost silence.

After they had eaten, they sat down at the fire with their cups that contained some red wine, and listened to the low sound of the waves in the distance, that seemed to have grown tired after a long day of incessantly visiting, greeting and leaving the shore again.

Suddenly, Malcolm got up, put down his cup on one of the boxes that contained their camping equipment and grabbed a flashlight. "I'll be right back," he announced.

"Where 'ya goin'?" Trip asked, grinning. "Scannin' for alien biosigns before we go to sleep?"

"No." Malcolm laughed. "I've already done that. Now I'm just following nature's call."

Trip chuckled. "Thought so. Don' fall in a hole or anythin'!"

"I'll try not to!" With that, Malcolm vanished into the small forest that filled the whole center of the island, and left Trip to his thoughts.

It had been a nice day. But Trip still felt like he hadn't really reached Malcolm yet. There was still a part deep inside Malcolm that Trip was excluded from. That had been different once. Before the alien attack that almost cost Malcolm's life. But Trip was determined not to give up. If Malcolm wasn't ready yet to open up to him again, one day he would be.

Trip was torn out of his brooding by a sudden rustle behind him.

"Trip!" Malcolm called out, jogging back to the camp. He was evidently very excited about something.

Trip put down his cup and jumped up. "What happened?"

"Come on! You have to see this! Come on!" Malcolm turned, flashlight still in his hand and vanished into the forest, followed by Trip.

They walked uphill through the trees for a few minutes until they reached a small glade which ended in a short ledge reaching over the beach. There Malcolm stopped, turned off the flashlight and pointed to the dark night sky over the sea. "Look!"

Trip's eyes followed to where Malcolm's finger was pointing. "Shootin' stars!"

"Yes, lots of them! Isn't that just beautiful? And look, over there," he pointed into another direction towards two small but very bright lights in the distance. "Those must be two of the six other planets in this system."

Trip put his hands on Malcolm's shoulders without taking his eyes off the wonderful sight above them. "Have ya made a wish on the shootin' stars?"

Malcolm smiled. "No. That's not necessary. Everything I could ever wish for is right here." He turned to face Trip and put his arms around Trip's waist, pulling him close into a tight embrace.

Trip deeply inhaled the pleasantly warm night air and wrapped his arms around the smaller man's shoulders. "Ah love you so much, Malcolm," Trip whispered after a while, still pressing his lover to his body as firmly as he could. "Ah don' think there are any words ta describe how much I love you."

Malcolm took a deep breath, slightly loosened the embrace to be able look directly into Trip's eyes. A tiny smile played around Malcolm's mouth, the kind that always appeared when he felt he was ready for a challenge. Slowly he moved his face closer to Trip's, and when their lips gently touched, he closed his eyes and whispered into the kiss, "Then show me."

The kiss was sweet and lasting, rewarding them for the pains that lay behind them. Although it wasn't, it felt to both of them like it was their very first kiss, like the very first kiss ever shared by lovers anywhere in the universe, and not only on this uninhabited Eden.

Finally they had to let go of each other to catch their breath.

Still gasping, Malcolm slowly started to unbutton Trip's dark red shirt.

"Er, Malcolm? Um ... ?" Trip asked, slightly surprised.

"What's the matter, love?" Malcolm softly replied while undoing the next buttons. "Didn't you tell me there's noone else here? Apart from the other crew members scattered about on the planet? But there sure isn't anyone on this island. Good thing I checked, isn't it?"

Trip chuckled. "Ya sure loosenin' up, baby." He bent forward to catch Malcolm's mouth in another kiss, while his fingers started working on the buttons of Malcolm's light blue shirt.

When the last button of Trip's shirt was open, Malcolm's hands slowly started roaming Trip's belly and chest, gently stroking the soft bare skin. Trip sighed audibly without breaking the kiss, and undid the last of Malcolm's buttons. His fingertips traced the line of Malcolm's shoulders and arms while they pushed down the fabric. Malcolm briefly let go of Trip and moved his arms to let the shirt slip down and fall to the ground.

Trip shrugged off his own shirt, then reached up and cupped Malcolm's face to intensify the kiss. He slowly moved his hands until his fingers were entangled in Malcolm's hair. Trip sighed into the kiss when he felt Malcolm's hands gently dancing up and down his back. He freed his fingers and swung his arms around Malcolm, pulling him close.

Finally, their lips parted, and instead their foreheads touched. They leant against each other as if for support and stood panting, eyes still closed, arms around the beloved partner, feeling and enjoying the spell of the moment.

Malcolm broke the silence. "I want to feel you close to me, Trip," he whispered.

"Are ya absolutly sure?" Trip whispered back.

Malcolm looked up and into Trip's blue eyes. He hesitated for a moment, then quickly flicked the tip of his tongue across Trip's upper lip, sending a few thousand volts through the taller man's body. He let go of Trip and started fumbling with the button and zipper of Trip's pants. "Absolutely," he said. "I've already waited way too long to invite you back into my bed."

"Malcolm!" Trip grabbed and stopped his lover's busy hands. "No, ya haven'. Remember what I said to ya, in the very beginning? That you have all the time ya need?"

Malcolm looked up at Trip and nodded.

"Why should tha' have changed?" Trip continued. "Why should i' be different in this case? We'll only go further if ya really ready for it. Don' pressure yourself for mah sake."

Malcolm sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they were shiny with tears. "I'm more than ready, Trip. I love you so much."

"Alrigh'," Trip almost only breathed the words. "I love ya too, Malcolm." He changed the grip on his lover's hands, holding him by the wrists and slowly moved his arms behind Malcolm's back. He entangled his fingers with Malcolm's and pulled him into an embrace, pressing his own naked chest against his lover's.

They felt each other's heartbeat and their quickened breathing. They started tenderly kissing and nibbling each other's shoulders and neck, now and then whispering the partner's name.

Finally, Trip let go of his lover's hands and carefully moved his fingers underneath the elastic waistbands of Malcolm's pants and briefs, feeling the warm skin of his lover's backside. "God, Malcolm," he whispered, and slowly started pushing the clothing downwards. He paused immediately when he felt Malcolm tensing slightly beneath his touch.

But Malcolm whispered back, "Go ahead, love, I'm absolutely sure," and once again busied himself with Trip's zipper.

Once free of their clothing, they paused and looked into each other's eyes, seeking and finding a myriad of emotions. Love, understanding, passion and consent.

Without averting his gaze from Malcolm's, Trip sat down into the grass which was still slightly warm from the sun that had shone onto it for the latter half of the afternoon, pulling Malcolm with him.

Malcolm settled down in front of Trip and entwined his lover's hips with his legs, slowly moving ever closer, but never losing eye contact. He put his hands on Trip's shoulders and pulled himself onto Trip's lap, moving close until erections touched, sending fires of passion through both of them. Trip crossed his legs to help maintain the posture and intensify the sensation of the erotic contact, pushing one hand underneath Malcolm's backside while the other stroked his lover's back.

Eyes closed, their arms firmly around their beloved partner, they started moving against each other. Hesitantly at first, but increasing in speed and vigour as passion and desire grew.

"Love ya, Malcolm," Trip managed to gasp, as he pulled his lover close in one more vehement movement, and was rewarded by a loud groan that came from deep within Malcolm's throat, pouring out his innermost being into this one moment that belonged to noone else in their universe but them.

"Oh God, Trip!" he called out, throwing back his head and arching his back to prolong the pleasure, but still holding on to Trip's shoulders.

The sight of his lover losing himself was all Trip needed to be pushed over the edge as well, and he joined Malcolm in giving voice to the sensation that was rushing through them, pressing his own trembling body against his lover's.

When the feeling subsided, leaving only a vivid memory of itself, and Malcolm's moans had turned into low sobs, they retired into the safety and warmth of each other's embrace again.

Malcolm laid his head on Trip's shoulder, and listened to his own and his lover's panting, enjoying the touch of Trip's fingers that had resumed their gentle dance across his back.

At first they were only vaguely aware of the night air feeling cooler now on their sweat-covered skin. But after a while of sitting in the quiet darkness, Trip started groping for pieces of their clothing that were lying scattered around them, one arm firmly around Malcolm's waist. He managed to find one of the shirts and pulled it around Malcolm's shoulders, then found the other for himself.

They sat like that for another while, then Trip softly broke the silence but not the spell.

"Thank you."

Malcolm chuckled quietly. "For what?" he mumbled.

"For givin' yourself ta me so freely."

Malcolm lifted his head and looked at his lover, "How could I not? I love you, Trip. I should be the one thanking you."

"Why?" Trip asked.

"For wanting me the way I am. And for your endless patience with me," Malcolm whispered his reply.

Trip smiled and shook his head, "I love ya too, Malcolm. An' I tol' ya that I'd be patient. More than once. An' I never break my promises."

Malcolm sighed and placed a tender but lingering kiss on Trip's mouth. "Shall we go and ... clean up a bit?"

"Skinny-dippin' in the ocean by moonlight, Lieutenant?" Trip grinned broadly.

"I haven't seen any moon yet, Commander. And, no thanks. I'm not going any further into the water than I have to for the purpose. And, yes, I know, you were just giving it another try. Thank you, baby. I appreciate it."

They kissed once more and got up, gathering their clothes and the flashlight. Then turned to slowly walk back to the camp not only side by side, but finally and truly together again.

The End

"Somewhere there's just the moment where it all remains unsaid
Somewhere two hearts are pounding and they don't care what's correct
Somewhere somebody's falling in love .... "
- Paul Jacobs & Sarah Durkee

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